How to stay motivated?
- Jürgen DV
- May 22, 2021
- 6 min read
Updated: 5 hours ago
Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. – Dale Carnegie
Do you ever feel like the universe is conspiring against you, like nothing ever changes or like you have zero energy to start the day? Here are some useful strategies to help you stay motivated.
Start with Why
Having a clear purpose and taking time to think about it on a regular basis is an important step towards a meaningful and fulfilling life. The feeling of making progress, even tiny steps, towards your reason for being or Ikigai is a very powerful source of motivation.
How to find your Ikigai? The answer lies in the process, not the result and here’s a practical guide to start your journey.
Live your Values
Living in line with your core values is like running downhill or cycling with tailwind: it feels pleasant, natural, and comfortable. It leads to fulfilling results in all aspects of your life. Understanding your values, reminding yourself about them and taking your daily decisions in accordance with them is another powerful source of motivation.
How to unleash your core values? Take a look at the strategies in this blog.
Let Goals drive you
When I asked my wife what drives her motivation, she didn’t hesitate: people and results. Making progress towards clearly defined goals, noticing real, tangible results from your own hard work or seeing how your actions have a positive impact on other people will boost anybody’s motivation. For some people, crossing off an item from their to-do list can create a feeling of accomplishment, leading to more motivation for the next task. It’s important to align your goals with values and purpose. After all, you don’t want to be the one who’s climbing the ladder in the most efficient manner and then realize that his ladder is standing against the wrong wall!
How to set motivating goals? Here are some useful tips.
Meet your Needs
Another way to look at motivation is to correlate it with the fulfillment of your needs. This is where Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs provides some great insights:
According to this model, our most basic need is physiological, food and water. Once this need is met, we will be concerned about safety and security (housing, clothing, financial safety …). Next, we start to focus on social needs like belonging to a group (family, friends, teams, colleagues …). When this need is met, we can seek to satisfy our desire for esteem from others (feedback, recognition, prestige, luxury …) which feeds into the need for self-esteem. Once the need for respect from others and self is fulfilled, we can grow into the final stage of self-actualization which is driven by our sense of meaning and purpose, an ongoing process of becoming the better version of ourselves and seeking for contribution to others.
Understanding this model will help us to understand our motivation, or lack thereof, at any given point in time.
The holistic approach
Taking a holistic approach to self-development means finding balance between the 4 elements of human nature. As explained by Dr Covey under Habit 7 in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, “Individual effectiveness requires development and renewal of all four dimensions in a wise and balanced way”.
Balancing your time between physical, social, spiritual and mental self-development is a great way to boost your personal effectiveness. Just like a carpenter needs a sharp saw to work efficiently, you need your highest physical, social, mental and spiritual state to realize your most challenging and fulfilling objectives.
How to improve your personal efficiency? Here‘s some more.
What truly motivates you?
In his best seller Millionaire Success Habits, Dean Graziosi explains a useful technique to identify wat truly motivates you. In order to question yourself about what you’re really working toward, he suggests using a partner to ask the WHY question seven times.
Say for example your goal is to get a promotion at work, your partner will ask “Why do you want to get a promotion?” You may say, “To make more money”. The next question would be “Why is it important to make more money?” This goes on until you reach 7 why’s.
Each question will lead you deeper into your core motivation and help you define what drives you.
How to get out of a rut?
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity, Albert Einstein
Despite your best efforts to have a strong purpose, live in alignment with your values, make progress towards meaningful goals and keep a balance between your physical, social, spiritual and mental elements, there can always be moments where demotivation kicks in. What to do now?
Most people can find their motivation back by using one or a combination of the following actions:
Take a break
Working on something you’re passionate about is great but sometimes, you just need to give yourself permission to take a break. Find some peace of mind, listen to music, take a walk outside, think about your achievements or simply disconnect and do nothing. It may sound boring but your greatest inspiration may come during these silent moments.
For me, like for many men, going to my “man-cave” for a while will allow me to build up my energy levels and be motivated for the next challenge. Technically, men need this time off to rebuild their testosterone levels.
Connect with a friend
Reaching out to family or friends and receive some positive vibes is a great way to uplift your mood. Talking about problems or challenges with someone you can trust allows you to put things in perspective, look from a different angle or simply release some steam.
For my wife, like for most women, receiving nurturing support will allow her to build up motivation. Technically, women use caring support from a friend or partner to rebuild their oxytocin levels.
Connect with someone inspiring
Some people have made it their personal mission to inspire or uplift others. They use various media like books, podcasts, seminars, webinars and videos to spread positivity and motivation. It’s impossible to list all of them so I will just give a personal top ten: Stephen Covey, Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, John DeMartini, Jay Shetty, Robin Sharma, Simon Sinek, Thich Nath Hanh, Darren Hardy and my coach and mentor Nicky J. Davies.
Do something you love
If you ask someone what it is they hate most, they will respond without hesitation. But the question “What do you really love?” will usually be followed by some hesitation. Yet doing something you really love or preparing for it is very uplifting. For me this can be windsurfing, a romantic dinner with my wife, reading an inspiring book, preparing our next sailing trip, learning something new, spending quality time with one of the kids or doing coaching and mentoring. What is it for you?
Practice gratitude
Filling your mind with gratitude can push back demotivation and negative feelings. It may sound counterintuitive, but thinking about everything you can be grateful for, even the smallest things, is a powerful practice to break demotivation. Who did you thank today?
Think positive
Take a moment to think about your biggest problem. Now, instead of thinking of it as a problem, try to see it as a gift, an opportunity to learn something about yourself. Maybe it’ll provide insight into your behaviour and provide a chance for you to change the future and be more successful. Remember the words of Henry Ford: “Failure and hardships are chances to start all over again and to make it better.”
Keeping your inner voice under control is something mindfulness and meditation can really help us with.
Conclusion
Motivation is a complex mental state which is influenced by multiple factors, some outside our control. Making meaningful progress towards clearly defined goals which are in line with your values and purpose, understanding your needs and maintaining a healthy balance between the physical, social, spiritual and mental elements of our nature will build your long-term motivation.
And what to do if you’re feeling down? Take a break, connect with a friend or someone inspiring, do something you love, practice gratitude and always keep a positive mindset.
Take care and stay safe,
Jürgen
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